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 Read between the wines, erin's fault
♔MEGARA CREON
 Posted: Jan 26 2018, 01:42 AM
  quote
I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day.
New Local
234
posts
Megara
31 years
Subliminal Seduction and Weakness Detection
Heather is Offline


Megara only ran a book club in the absolute loosest sense of the word. ‘Book club’ tended to suggest actual assigned books, and regular meetings, and just in general, a degree of formality that Meg’s distinctly lacked. She didn’t even really feel comfortable calling it her own, since it was really something she organised – half the time these meetings came about because someone else pointed out that it had been a while, and Meg sent around a couple of texts and bought some bottles.

It was better now that she was living with Emily, to be honest – she enjoyed joining in as well, which made everything a hell of a lot of fun. Megara didn’t know Raja as well, having met through Emily but she had some really fun insights into the books, and didn’t mind the wine Megara got, and honestly, that was all Megara needed to want to invite something like this.

Bottles of red and white were laid out on the side and coffee tables, along with numerous bottles of water as well – Megara couldn’t say she didn’t enjoy the drunk element, but she was in her 30s now, and properly working, hangovers really were not that much fun. Megara had an embarrassingly large collection of romance novels of all sorts, and some of them were out as well, although she only ever bought her favourites to justify writing notes in the margins, pointing out favourite passages and especially ridiculous statements. Some people liked the ones you could get cheap off of Amazon, self-published ones in desperate need of an editor, and she got that, but she liked having the physical copy to scribble over.

Megara herself was resting in a corner of her long grey couch, legs tucked underneath her and glass of red wine in her hand as she palmed through a book she’d borrowed from the library – it was almost worthy of being bought, she was pretty sure, but she needed the girls’ opinions.

“Okay, how about this?” she asked, smirking at the others. “She spread both legs apart, feeding him with the sweet slimy nectar that oozed gradually from her little paradise pussy, and at climax, she started speaking in tongues. 'Boo! Fuck my pussy c'mon,' she kept moaning and swirling her butts to the rhythm of his twiddling tongue.” Megara started cackling with laughter, shaking her head. “God, you should see the use of semicolons in this, it doesn’t even make sense. They’re just, like, randomly inserted into the middle of a sentence.

“Also they must both have like eight butts, I don’t know, they keep mentioning multiple butts.” It was so ridiculously fantastic.


TAG: RAJA BISWAS and EMILY MORTIMER | WORDS: 442 | NOTES: if anyone else wants in, shoot me a pm or a discord message and we'll figure out if you can get an invite

--------------------
Accent: Midwest USA
user posted image
If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history, been there, done that!
It's too cliche
I won't say I'm in love
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RAJA BISWAS
 Posted: Apr 2 2018, 03:35 AM
  quote
*offended mrowr*
new local
25
posts
rajah
27 years
guardianship & tiger physiology
erin is Offline


The sun machine is coming down

Ohhh, this was a mistake. Not that she wasn't enjoying herself – she definitely was, with a glass of a rather tasty wine held carefully in one hand (the better not to accidentally crack it if she had one of her... manicure-from-the-bad-place episodes), listening to every cringe-worthy word Megara read and biting her lip to keep her giggles contained until the end, so as not to miss anything. That was the trouble – she could feel her cheeks flaming brighter with every syllable (but especially for pussy and butts). Between the wine and the choice of literature, her face was going to need an ice bath before long.

At least she was in good company, though – and not blushing like a schoolgirl in front of a crowd of complete strangers. It was strange, having a 'girl's night' without Jasmine next to her – she was usually the bolder of the pair of them, and Raja was going to need a bit more wine before she could keep her this-is-too-naughty cheek thermometers in check. The wine might contribute, but at least then she'd have a better explanation for needing to fan her cheeks.

But it was hard to sip when she was still stifling a giggle at all the swirling butts.

“That's terrible! Raja managed to wait at least long enough for Megara to finish before her laughter bubbled out. Her free hand covered her mouth in a loose lattice that didn't do much to hide her broad smile – more a polite habit than an efficient gesture. “But I suppose that makes it a winner, doesn't it? Tell me that would be far and away the worst of your collection?” Now she had time to take a bracing drink of the wine, then settle into a little more of a lounge in her chosen armchair across from the couch. She'd read romance novels that felt forced, sure, where there was less artistry than emotion – but she hadn't read anything quite so jarring in its... low caliber up until now. Slimy? Twiddling? Hardly diction to get a girl's motor running.

and we're gonna have a party
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♔EMILY MORTIMER
 Posted: May 3 2018, 04:22 PM
  quote
PARDON MY ENTHUSIASM
LOCAL
196
posts
EMILY
24 years
ASTRAL PROJECTION & POWER ACTIVATION
AMANDA is Offline


i pray for the wicked on the weekend
Honestly, after how much of her patience Emily had lost in the few months living with Wes and Lee in Lee's cramped apartment (it was a nice enough place but not for three people, two of whom bickered constantly; in hindsight, discovering it must have at least partially been fuelled by unresolved sexual tension had explained so much), she would've been grateful for whoever she ended up with as a roommate. Megara met all her expectations and more. She was a fiercely intelligent woman whose poise and confidence were enviable, and at this point Emily truly considered her a friend. The nights that the both of them were in and spent time with one another were splendid on their own, but add Raja, wine, and awful erotica? Emily couldn't remember the last time she'd enjoyed herself so much without anyone who worked at the Ball and Socket.

From the word 'slimy', Emily had been shaking with her poorly-suppressed laughter, but by the time Meg got to the dialogue, a shriek of combined horror and disbelief and sheer hysteria escaped. Tears weren't far off, she knew, and the moment Meg stopped reading aloud, Emily scrambled forward to grab at the book in her roommate's hands. "There's no way it says that," she cried, mostly because she wept for humanity if this successfully went through however many people were involved in publishing a book. Honestly, she didn't know why she bothered: even with the book firmly clutched between Meg's hands and her own, her open laughter was still shaking it enough that Emily had no hope of reading upside down. "Who wrote this? Who published this?" And most importantly, did anyone read this sober and think it had any literary value?

Raja's question caught Emily's attention, if only because the answer was so potentially horrifying it made the rest of her questions come to a screeching halt. "Oh please say this is the worst. Mine has someone being fucked by a cannoli but at least it doesn't try to convince me that 'boo' and slimy are sexy words." At this point, she wasn't sure if the warmth in her cheeks was from the wine, the laughter, or from talking so frankly about sex, something that was still somewhat of a novelty for her. She was far from a prude, but she'd never had good enough female friends before for anything like this.
tag: MEGARA CREON & RAJA BISWAS | words: 417 | notes: no regrets for how many times i cried laughing at awful excerpts doing research for this post
robb stark

--------------------
Dialect: Received Pronunciation British
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♔MEGARA CREON
 Posted: May 16 2018, 07:40 AM
  quote
I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day.
New Local
234
posts
Megara
31 years
Subliminal Seduction and Weakness Detection
Heather is Offline


Megara laughed at both of their reactions, which was exactly what she was hoping for – and just what the book deserved. “It is!” she insisted, happily giving over the book to Emily when she wanted to see it for herself. “And let me tell you, I have read a few of her books before. Debbie Gordon,” she said, gesturing towards the book. “She has a whole line of books just like this one. I’ve read a couple of others, but they’re on my kindle,” she explained. There was something different about reading a proper paperback, which worked so much better for nights like this.

She thought about Raja’s question, but honestly, coming to an answer didn’t take very long. “I honestly don’t think it’s the worst, sorry,” she said, mostly unapologetically, shrugging at Raja. She didn’t know the other woman well, but she seemed like a lot of fun – if clearly way too naïve about how these types of romance novels worked. As was Emily, clearly, but that was okay, Megara was here to teach them.

But what classified as ‘worst’ all depended on how your tastes in bad literature ran. She hummed, reaching down from her seat to pour herself some more red wine. “I mean, technically I borrowed that, so it’s not even mine, but I’m trying to think what the worst in my actual collection is. Personally I hate anything and everything that refers to a woman’s vagina as her oyster, because that’s just … creepy,” she said with a small shudder, shaking her head.

“And the genre I guess. The cowboy genre has some really terrible ones, since they try to be Southern. I’m not Southern, and even I get how terrible they are,” she informed them. “There’s a lot of step-siblings ones, they’re like, all over the place. And like the professional ones are normally a little – a very little – better about the sex, but then the actual professional side of things is always terrible.” She’d tried a journalism one once, but it was just horrible. And the PA ones were always inevitably about banging the boss, so her job with Hayden was definitely out.

“Ooh, actually, I do know a good one! I mean, a bad one, one of my worst,” she exclaimed. The books were scattered around the place, but it didn’t take long for her to find My Secrets Discovered – it was dog-eared and worn out, obviously well read, and with a lot of pen and pencil scribbled in the margins where Meg had taken notes. She flipped through the book until she got to the pages with red marker in the corner – they signified the very worst of it.

“Yes, god, here it is. “I felt a gush of liquid spring forth within me, and I fell to my knees.”,” she started, reading as dramatically as she could. “”Mark” – that’s her husband – “stood before me with wonderment written all over his face. He looked at the pool of liquid in the palm of his hand he’d pulled from inside me. “Jen, my God, did you pee on me?” I shook my head. “No that’s my love juice. Go ahead, drink it, because I’m going to taste yours right now”,” Megara gagged, shaking her head.

“God, it’s just,” she said, shaking her head. “I am clearly in the wrong profession.” It didn’t even sound like she needed to try to be an author.


TAG: RAJA BISWAS and EMILY MORTIMER | WORDS: 571 | NOTES: sorry not sorry


--------------------
Accent: Midwest USA
user posted image
If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history, been there, done that!
It's too cliche
I won't say I'm in love
  pm   email
^
RAJA BISWAS
 Posted: Jul 6 2018, 06:43 AM
  quote
*offended mrowr*
new local
25
posts
rajah
27 years
guardianship & tiger physiology
erin is Offline


The sun machine is coming down

“A cannoli?” That... well, depending on the word choice that was actually a significant improvement, although Raja had equally significant doubts about the effectiveness of pointy pastry as a... well. The visual she was picturing was more confusing than either appetizing or arousing, and she shook her head ruefully. Presumably the author had intended for both to be true.

Hearing that there was a whole line of books from Ms. Swirling Butts, Raja couldn't stifle a mingled laugh and groan – though if that wasn't the worst, she was just beginning to understand why there were so many bottles set out. She had clearly vastly underestimated Megara's expertise in this arena. That, and the sheer number of food comparisons that could somehow be completely and utterly unappetizing in every sense of the word.

There were so many others spread out on the table, but the more she heard the more she hesitated to pick up some of the... bolder titles. Raja had never thought of herself as a prude, exactly, but there was a difference between a furtive Google search on her own and talking so openly about... things. And step-sibling things? The thought made her squirm. Meg's analysis was refreshingly non-descriptive, though – at least omitting things like butts and cannoli and slimy nectar in favor of simple logic.

That, and a few more healthy sips of wine, emboldened her to make a selection. Ginger, by Amelia Cavedish. It seemed safe enough – no cowboys, no step-siblings, no office jobs. It was small, barely a booklet, really, so... that meant it probably didn't have enough space for anything too horrifying. As she slipped the purple cover out from under one of its larger compatriots, she doubted her choice immediately. It was like some sort of Christmas collage gone wrong, and deeply unsettling. Still, she'd gotten this far, and it only seemed right to brave the (hopefully not illustrated) pages while Meg was tracking down the contender for worst.

And oh, what a contender it was! Raja nearly lost a mouthful of wine at the phrase “love juice”, but managed to contain her sputter with a tight pursing or her lips just long enough to swallow. “Maybe you should moonlight in fiction,” she finally managed to chuckle, a bit out of breath. Given that someone had made money on these selections, Raja had serious doubts that even on an off day anything Megara produced would have any trouble competing.

Idly flipping a page in the slim volume she currently held, Raja caught sight of a likely passage and grinned with the beginnings of a laugh. “Oh, this looks like a good one. 'He spread her legs and went to work, exploring every inch of the soft cookie exterior before plunging his tongue into her moist, crumbly hole.'” Crumbly. Now there was a new one. “ 'Taking time to'... no, that can't be right...” The words momentarily flummoxed her, and her mouth made a couple of word-like shapes without finding the sound to fill them before she was able to continue. “...I don't believe this - 'Taking time to chew the crumbs that stayed in his mouth, he savored her taste, more pungent than her finger had been.'”

Looking up, torn between laughter and something like distress, Raja reached for the wine bottle. “...I was expecting that to be more of a metaphor but... I think she's actually a... Christmas sex cookie.” Put that on the list of phrases she'd never thought would be in her vocabulary.

and we're gonna have a party
EMILY MORTIMER MEGARA CREON
THIS COVER YOU GUYS I CAN'T EVEN. LOOK
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♔EMILY MORTIMER
 Posted: Jul 10 2018, 07:23 PM
  quote
PARDON MY ENTHUSIASM
LOCAL
196
posts
EMILY
24 years
ASTRAL PROJECTION & POWER ACTIVATION
AMANDA is Offline


i pray for the wicked on the weekend
Megara was right: it did say that, and Emily honestly wasn't sure whether that was the greatest or worst thing ever. Nor was she sure she wanted to know what the worst was since this wasn't apparently it. "Oh, yes, a cannoli," she said, amused that even if Megara was far, far too experienced for this to phase her, Raja was as horrified as Emily had been upon finding it. "Oh, here, let me see if I can find it." She opened the book on her lap that she'd been ignoring in favour of her roommate's far more scarring ones, rifling to the section of the book that the internet had led her to purchase in the first place. "Here we are. 'He slowly sunk the treat deeper, as far as he could, then gently tugged it out. He did it again, leaving Izzy to wonder how long it would take before the shell broke and the oozy cream filled her.' Which, god, that sounds like an infection just waiting to happen," she said through her giggles. "Oh, but then he eats it out of her, then she tells him that he's bigger than the cannoli and he tells her she's sweeter and creamy enough to handle him."

Which comparatively didn't seem the worst anymore. Gross, yes, but much more appetizing than comparing a vagina to an oyster. "Is... the step-sibling thing a fetish?" she asked, just as appalled and intrigued by this as she was by everything else. Tonight was a learning experience, apparently. Emily reached for her glass of wine, draining a fair portion of it while Meg searched for something that promised to be 'one of the worst' and possibly the reason they would need to open yet another bottle. Thankfully, she'd finished swallowing before Megara read aloud, otherwise she surely would've choked on it by 'love juice'. "Oh my god, why?" She shook her head, too amused to be truly horrified. "This is putting some of my most disappointing sexual experiences in a whole new light, I have to say."

Any sexual experience had to compare favourably to something crumbly. Emily winced, instinctively crossing her legs tighter at that all-too-vivid mental image. "Okay, but that one has to be a parody. ...right?" She almost regretted it as she was asking, because what if it wasn't? "People get paid for this." How they could even look at their screens while doing so was another question entirely, but. "I swear, the three of us, completely sloshed, could still write something better than that. I'm sure of it."
tag: MEGARA CREON & RAJA BISWAS | words: 455 | notes: this thread is awful and hilarious
robb stark

--------------------
Dialect: Received Pronunciation British
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